Isn’t it a great feeling when we find a dinner that everyone in the family likes? How often does that happen in your house? I know there’s a lot of misses in my house.
I’m going to give you some strategies to encourage your kids to eat a wider range of foods and eat what you serve for supper. You will hear how to involve them in the whole meal process, which will assist in them being excited to try what is made.
So let’s jump in to see what picky eaters look like. Well, probably exactly like the little critters in your home. Picky eaters come in all ages and sizes. And they’re picky for different reasons. Younger kids haven’t experienced a wide range of foods so they’re hesitant to try something new because it might not taste good. They like routine and predictability. If a food isn’t something they’ve had before, they are likely going to outright refuse to eat it. Or they’ll take one bite, scrunch up their nose, and push it away. And, as parents of much younger children know, a food they liked yesterday may be the worst food in the world today. And when kids get to a certain age, they may decide they will only eat two or three things. Ever. For every meal. This is a normal developmental stage. There doesn’t seem to be a scientific reason for it but most kids go through this. One family’s toddler decided all she would eat was crackers and apples. For an entire year. There are only so many strategies you can use before you resign yourself that this is the phase they’re in at the moment and you have to just ride it out. If it goes on for a significant length of time, speak to the doctor to ensure it’s not a concern but, for the most part, it’s just a phase.
Then there are the older kids. The ones who turn their noses up at everything that looks like a vegetable or something that isn’t made from a fast food restaurant. They can have some food hesitation as well but it’s more likely that they know what they like the best and want to hold out for their nirvana. It’s more stubbornness than it is anything else. And finally we look at teens. Oh, the teens. Again, their food refusal is a combination of being stubborn because it’s not something they necessarily like and not wanting to spend time with the family at the dinner table.
So let’s get on with some strategies. One thing you can do when you have young children is to make a game of it. Take them with you to the grocery store. Make up funny names for each vegetable and ask them what funny vegetable they would like to try this week. Another strategy is to have a reward chart. Give them a sticker for each new vegetable they try in a month. Have a reward if they eat a certain number in the month. And, if all else fails, sneak veggies in with other foods. There was one cookbook I found that had pureed or food processed veggies in every recipe, even brownies! One hack I learned is to add cauliflower rice, food processed mushrooms, and food processed spinach to ground beef. One advantage is to make your hamburger to go further but the other is to get vegetables in their diet without them being aware. Both the cauli-rice and the mushrooms take on the flavour and appearance of ground beef as they’re cooked together in the pan. I hate mushrooms with a passion and can’t taste them when I include them this way.
For older kids and teens, engaging them in the process of meal making can be a life saver. One single mom I worked with had her older children, think 7-8 years old, help cut veggies during meal prep, or put all the casserole ingredients together in the dish. The more you can get them involved, the more likely they will feel invested in their work and try out what was cooked. Sit down as a family the day before shopping day and do some meal planning. Pull out the cookbooks you want recipes from and let the kids help pick what is going to be made for the week. Helping pick what is going to be cooked gives them a little bit of control over what they’re going to eat. Then have them help out with the making of the meals. If they aren’t old enough, or mature enough, to handle a sharp knife, have them measure ingredients and dump them in the bowl. This also shows them the work that goes into making dinner and can help them appreciate more what you do for them. Another solution is to compromise when meal planning. Tell them that you need x amount of meals that are healthy and the rest can be chicken fingers or mac and cheese. This gives them a sense of control, again, and will make them more willing to pick the healthier options because they ‘win’ on some of the other days. It’s also a way to teach them compromise and how to work as a team.
For teens, these strategies can be helpful as well. However, as I’m sure some of you have kids that are the most stubborn in the world, there may need to be a more drastic plan of action. If they still refuse to eat what is made, they have to make their own meal. Give them parameters, like their meal has to include all four food groups, or the meal must have protein, but make them responsible for feeding themselves. There is no need for you to be making two separate meals when your kids are old enough to make their own. If they even refuse to eat that way, the natural consequence is that they’re hungry that night. You might have to put your foot down if it’s happening too often but making them responsible gives them the option of eating what they want without you having to put in extra effort.
These steps should bring some mealtime peace to your table. If you are struggling with how to implement any of these strategies, please feel free to schedule a free one hour Step by Step Parenting session with me at www.survive-parenthood.com to discuss how a one to one coaching relationship might be helpful.